Eggcellent!

Last night I had the urge to color Easter eggs. I have colored eggs since I was just a wee lass. I'm patient when it comes to coloring eggs. I know the longer you soak those baby chicks in the colored water the darker the colors will be. I can wait. I'm the bomb when it comes to waiting for colored eggs.  It's about the only thing I can wait for.

Egg coloring peeps around the world know that PAAS is the best egg coloring kit on the planet. They have the best colors and the most brilliant dye. I use them every year, except this year!! *GASP*! (I promise PAAS,  I will never stray again. I will stay faithful from here on out!!)  O.K. so I caved. I saw a kit that made these pretty metallic designs on the eggs. I had to have it. I knew that my eggs would turn out exactly like the eggs pictured on the box. I would post pictures and people would come from miles around to see my beautiful eggs. Tears would flow from the eyes of those as they looked upon my metallic wonders. Easter would be forever changed. Then reality hit. First the dye sucked. They yellow was more like orange, red was more like pink and purple was just a slightly different shade than the pinkred. In all fairness I did like the blue. After dying and drying you had to spread a thin layer of their special magic glue on the egg and let it get sticky. The magic glue actually rubbed most of the color off the egg. Then you take the metallic sheets, press onto the magically messy glued egg and the metallic will flake off the sheet and stick to your egg! OOOOOH PRETTY! Well no, not really. What they didn't tell you is the glue will not be tacky enough to accomplish this until 4 seconds before it completely dries, which takes about 7 minutes, in which you will have those 4 seconds to try and get enough metallic flakes on the egg to come close to matching the stupid picture on the box. Don't forget your fingers are not only colored from the dye that the magic glue takes off the egg but the magic glue itself which the metallic sheets stick to, and anything else you may touch. Almost an hour later, the help of my husband and running out of patience we managed to make 3 1/2 eggs look slightly less than the amazing vision in my head.

Most would have given up at this point, but not I! I'm still determined to make the masses weep. It's time to get crafty! A little ribbon, some glue dots and other scrap booking accoutrements and I am now Martha Stewart! Again, this is only in my head. I did manage to put together a few cute eggs, that are now sitting in their pretty ribbons and bows in my refrigerator where the next time someone sees them it will be without their pretty shells all mashed together between two pieces of bread in an egg salad sandwich. Hopefully no one cries after eating it.